


The Saga of How the Avengers (Natasha) Got Steve and Tony to Notice the Other Noticing Them

by AngeNoir



Series: C/IM Bingo Card: Spring 2016 [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Dorks in Love, M/M, Oblivious, email format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 12:13:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7438636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngeNoir/pseuds/AngeNoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce said it would be kinder to put them out of their misery right away. After all, they both stare at each other like lovestruck idiots. It would be cruel to keep them apart.</p><p>Natasha and Clint think it would be fun to see how long it could go on. Thor's already started the betting pool.</p><p>Clint's the first one to break, but it's Natasha who gets them together (it's Fury who unwillingly provides the milieu).</p><p>Together, the Avengers manage to squish Steve and Tony together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Saga of How the Avengers (Natasha) Got Steve and Tony to Notice the Other Noticing Them

**Author's Note:**

> This is one-half-partly to fill my "writing format: email / chat log" square on my bingo card (3 out of 5 done on a row, nearly 4 out of 5, I'm so close), and one-half-partly for the [Cap/Iron Man Tiny Reverse Bang](http://capim-tinybang.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Also, fill for the Tiny Reverse Bang art (codename: Confession, the bottom one) which can be found [here](http://capim-tinybang.tumblr.com/post/146796580188/cap-im-tiny-rb-round-3-classic-and-confession).

CCawMF: Someone needs to put him out of his misry

RedBallerina: Its not gonna be me. too fun to watch this play out

theOtherotherguy: you two are sadistic

theOtherotherguy: i bet one of you started the betting pool

CCawMF: No that wsa Thor

RedBallerina: teh other day stk was greasy adn @ his worktable in ratty clotehs but steve was sitting there. like a dork. blushing an shit

RedBallerina: c’mon bruce u cant tell me its boring to watch them dance around each other

CCawMF: and we bnfit from it to. steve can’t bring food to tony wihtout also bringing for us. jus roll with it

theOtherotherguy: I’m gunna regret this

 

* * *

 

CCawMF: nat nat you gotta see this nat u there

CCawMF: c’mon u use fb chat more than nethng else

CCawMF: <sent a picture>

RedBallerina: OH MY GOD

CCawMF: right????

RedBallerina: y r th men I live with incapble of verbalizing feelings

RedBallerina: we need more women on th team

CCawMF: i feel like i shuld be insulted but ur probs right

 

* * *

 

CCawMF: <sent a picture>

theOtherotherguy: oh my god theyre physically painful to look at

theOtherotherguy: you can practically see the hearts pumping out of steve’s eyes

CCawMF: nat says we need more women on the team

theOtherotherguy: ?

theOtherotherguy: ok?

theOtherotherguy: …how does that relate to the pic?

CCawMF: ur the genius u tell me

 

* * *

 

CCawMF: <sent a picture>

herecomsTHUNDER: did I not tell ye that these two shieldbrethren of ours would copulate soon

CCawMF: ITS JUS A PIC OF STEVE STARING DOPILY AT STARK

CCawMF: LIKE A DOPE

CCawMF: YOU DIDNT WIN TH BET YET THOR

herecomsTHUDER: tis only matter of time;)

CCawMF: i cant with you

CCawMF: btw nat says we need women on the team

herecomsTHUNDER: aye methinks this best

herecomsTHUNDER: only by an equal tempering of all genders can the avengers truly be a representative force of justice for Midgard

CCawMF: ur no help

 

* * *

 

CCawMF: <sent a picture>

CaptainCoulson: Clint this is my private address and I’m at work

CCawMF: yeah but u replied didnt u ;D

CCawMF: sir with all du respect we both kno ur probs reading or writing fanfic rn

CCawMF: sir?

CCawMF: ?

CCawMF: fine

CCawMF: btw nat says we need more women on the teem

CCawMF: ur no help

 

* * *

 

CCawMF: <sent a picture>

OneEyeFury: I don’t know how you got my private address but let me assure you I will post pictures of you from your circus days on every social media feed I can get my hands on if you don’t immediately forget you ever contacted me this way

CCawMF: new phone who dis

 

* * *

 

CCawMF: oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my gof NAT

CCawMF: nat ant nat nat ant where hare you

CCawMF: u need to see this rn you need to be here where th hell r u

CCawMF: itS SICKNING

 

* * *

 

CCawMF: thor buddy tell me ur in the tower

herecomsTHUNDER: nay I currently rest in London

herecomsTHUNDER: jane and I

CCawMF: IM GONNA STOP YOU THERE BUDDY

CCawMF: jesus christ why do i try to contact u at all

herecomsTHUNDER: we are going to copulate soon >;D

CCawMF: I NOW U NOW HOW TO SAY FUCK

CCawMF: U DON FOOL ME

herecomsTHUNDER: she will caress my mighty mjolnir and I will lick trails over her bosom

CCawMF: fuk it im out

 

* * *

 

CCawMF: bruce bruce bruce

theOtherotherguy: clint?

CCawMF: look look at this its fuckin adorable and these two are ididots

CCawMF: <sent a picture>

theOtherotherguy: is steve

CCawMF: drawing iron man yes yes he is

theOtherotherguy: tonys just standing there

theOtherotherguy: like an idiot

CCawMF: RIGHT????

 

* * *

 

CCawMF: right we need to stag an intervntion

herecomsTHUNDER: nay I stand to win good money from the son of coul on their eventual copulation

RedBallerina: why th hell would we stage that

RedBallerina: theyr doin so good so far

CCawMF: i kno ur probs being sarcastic but on the offchance ur not no no they are not doing good

CCawMF: tony droops all the fukin time now

CCawMF: he SIGHED when steve left the room last time we had breakfast remmber?

theOtherotherguy: I’d like to point out htat I thought from the beginning this was a bad idea

RedBallerina: u still agreed

CCawMF: guys focus we gotta stop this moping around

CCawMF: theyr makin me sick. u guys dont stick around but they complain to ME

herecomsTHUNDER: verily, it cannot be as bad as all that

RedBallerina: thor everyone here knos u can speak withut the shakespeare bit

RedBallerina: but he’s right clint

CCawMF: steve’s listening to yellowcard’s only one and 3doors down’s here without u on repeat.

theOtherotherguy: GDI

theOtherotherguy: i told ALL OF YOU

CCawMF: so what do we do

herecomsTHUNDER: we could enclose them in a tight space

theOtherotherguy: trick them onto a date

CCawMF: what the hell bruce

theOtherotherguy: no seriously make it like a team dinner and then pull out so its just them

herecomsTHUNDER: OR we could place them within a closet and lock them inside

CCawMF: noone thinks thats a good idea thor

RedBallerina: men

RedBallerina: never think with anythin othr than ur dick

theOtherotherguy: um

herecomsTHUNDER: ?

herecomsTHUNDER: that didn’t even make sense Natasha

RedBallerina: u want to fix them up, u make them see th other person

RedBallerina: leave it to me

 

* * *

 

OneEyeFury: do you know what your team has done

CaptainCoulson: I get that you probably know everything about all of us but I do wish people would stop contacting me on my private address

OneEyeFury: stark and rogers are fucking in my office

CaptainCoulson: O.O

OneEyeFury: emojis, phil?

CaptainCoulson: i think im gonna throw up

OneEyeFury: its your teams fault

OneEyeFury: you deal with it

 

* * *

 

 _To:_ Captain Steven G. Rogers <sgrogers2@shield.ne.net>, Agent C. Barton <cbarton@shield.ne.net>, Agent N. Romanoff <nromanoff@shield.ne.net>, Dr. Bruce Banner <bbanner1218@yahoo.com>, Dr. Anthony E. Stark <tonyfuckingstark@si.net>, Thor <thundergod123456@gmail.com>

 _From:_ Agent P. Coulson  <pcoulson@shield.ne.net>

 _CC:_ Director N. Fury  <dirnfury@shield.net>

 _Subject:_ Inappropriate Sexual Activities in the Helicarrier

It has come to my attention that inappropriate sexual contact has happened within the Helicarrier. I am attaching the SHIELD guidelines for relationships in the field and what is unacceptable conduct, particularly sexual misconduct.

I’m looking at you, Stark.

 

* * *

 

 _To:_ Captain Steven G. Rogers <sgrogers2@shield.ne.net>, Agent C. Barton <cbarton@shield.ne.net>, Agent N. Romanoff <nromanoff@shield.ne.net>, Agent P. Coulson <pcoulson@shield.ne.net>, Dr. Anthony E. Stark <tonyfuckingstark@si.net>, Thor <thundergod123456@gmail.com>

 _From:_ Dr. Bruce Banner  <bbanner1218@yahoo.com>

 _CC:_ Director N. Fury  <dirnfury@shield.net>

 _RE:_ Inappropriate Sexual Activities in the Helicarrier

 

PAY UP BITCHES I SMOKED YOU ALL

 

* * *

 

 _To:_ Captain Steven G. Rogers <sgrogers2@shield.ne.net>, Agent C. Barton <cbarton@shield.ne.net>, Agent N. Romanoff <nromanoff@shield.ne.net>, Agent P. Coulson <pcoulson@shield.ne.net>, Dr. Bruce Banner <bbanner1218@yahoo.com>, Thor <thundergod123456@gmail.com>

 _From:_ Dr. Anthony E. Stark  <tonyfuckingstark@si.net>

 _CC:_ Director N. Fury  <dirnfury@shield.net>

 _RE: RE:_ Inappropriate Sexual Activities in the Helicarrier

 

What the hell Bruce?

 

* * *

 

 _To:_ Captain Steven G. Rogers <sgrogers2@shield.ne.net>, Dr. Anthony E. Stark <tonyfuckingstark@si.net>, Agent N. Romanoff <nromanoff@shield.ne.net>, Agent P. Coulson <pcoulson@shield.ne.net>, Dr. Bruce Banner <bbanner1218@yahoo.com>, Thor <thundergod123456@gmail.com>

 _From:_ Agent C. Barton  <cbarton@shield.ne.net>

 _CC:_ Director N. Fury  <dirnfury@shield.net>

 _RE: RE: RE:_ Inappropriate Sexual Activities in the Helicarrier

 

Fess up Steve where did you end up bending Tony over?

 

* * *

 

 _To:_ Agent C. Barton <cbarton@shield.ne.net>, Dr. Anthony E. Stark <tonyfuckingstark@si.net>, Agent N. Romanoff <nromanoff@shield.ne.net>, Agent P. Coulson <pcoulson@shield.ne.net>, Dr. Bruce Banner <bbanner1218@yahoo.com>, Thor <thundergod123456@gmail.com>

 _From:_ Captain Steven G. Rogers  <sgrogers2@shield.ne.net>

 _CC:_ Director N. Fury  <dirnfury@shield.net>

 _RE: RE: RE: RE:_ Inappropriate Sexual Activities in the Helicarrier

 

Who said it was Tony bending over?

 

* * *

 

 _To:_ Captain Steven G. Rogers <sgrogers2@shield.ne.net>, Agent C. Barton <cbarton@shield.ne.net>, Dr. Anthony E. Stark <tonyfuckingstark@si.net>, Agent N. Romanoff <nromanoff@shield.ne.net>, Agent P. Coulson <pcoulson@shield.ne.net>, Dr. Bruce Banner <bbanner1218@yahoo.com>, Thor <thundergod123456@gmail.com>

 _From:_ Director N. Fury  <dirnfury@shield.net>

 _Subject:_ STOP SPAMMING MY INBOX YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

 

YOU ALL HAVE TRAINING AT 6 AM FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS

 

* * *

 

 _To:_ Captain Steven G. Rogers <sgrogers2@shield.ne.net>, Agent C. Barton <cbarton@shield.ne.net>, Agent N. Romanoff <nromanoff@shield.ne.net>, Agent P. Coulson <pcoulson@shield.ne.net>, Dr. Bruce Banner <bbanner1218@yahoo.com>, Thor <thundergod123456@gmail.com>, Director N. Fury <dirnfury@shield.net>

 _From:_ Dr. Anthony E. Stark  <tonyfuckingstark@si.net>

 _RE:_ STOP SPAMMING MY INBOX YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

 

Fury’s office

 

* * *

 

 _To:_ Captain Steven G. Rogers <sgrogers2@shield.ne.net>, Agent C. Barton <cbarton@shield.ne.net>, Dr. Anthony E. Stark <tonyfuckingstark@si.net>, Agent N. Romanoff <nromanoff@shield.ne.net>, Agent P. Coulson <pcoulson@shield.ne.net>, Dr. Bruce Banner <bbanner1218@yahoo.com>, Thor <thundergod123456@gmail.com>

 _From:_ Director N. Fury  <dirnfury@shield.net>

 _RE: RE:_ STOP SPAMMING MY INBOX YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

 

FOUR WEEKS

 

* * *

 

Pepperino: what did you do?

RedBallerina: showed them the pics of them looking at the other

RedBallerina: and suggested the other was scared to bother them with it

RedBallerina: they did the rest

Pepperino: bless you


End file.
